Walking in Memphis...

So, here I am on yet another airplane on my way home from yet another meeting. This time I was in Memphis, TN for a 19 hour stint. Unfortunately, I had to stay at the airport and had no rental car so I didn’t venture into town. Instead, I had one more wonderful experience in a Holiday Inn...one that should have been clear-cut to the foundation years ago. Aside from the filth accumulated in every available crack and crevice, it was semi-acceptable. No, no it really wasn’t. It was gross. The hallway carpets had that dark tint to the center where grime had been perpetually ground into the fibers. The “hotel bar” – which was a makeshift little thing in the lobby – had all sorts of dusty crap crammed into its shelves like old calculators, bottle spouts and out-of-date table tents. I think one of them advertised for the 1984 Superbowl party. The ‘bellman’ was a 450 pound African-American gentleman named Daunte whose claim to fame had to be winning the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating contest three years in a row until that Kobiashi guy came along. He had to stop pushing some lady’s baggage cart about every 20 feet to take a breather and a bite of Twinkie.

Speaking of food…the food. Ugh. It is unfair to every comestible on the globe to call it ‘food’. I ate late because my meetings kind of ran over so I ordered something simple. Nacho chips to snack on and a steak salad. The nachos were the round kind that comes in the 24 pound bag from Sam’s Club accompanied by Ortega’s best canned salsa. Yummy! The steak on my salad was MICROWAVED into a slab of grey leather. It might have been the vilest protein ever placed on a soggy, wilted bed of greens saturated with no-name Caesar dressing. Et tu Brute? I awoke this morning with significant stomach distress – and just nodded to myself in the bathroom mirror. I deserved this fate…

At any rate, here is my ‘room with a view’. Not much to see here. If you look really closely you can see the ladies of the night hovering around the motorcourt next door. The chlorofluorocarbon haze over the airport is particularly poignant in the evening gloaming. As I gazed into the parking lot and deeply inhaled the fetid air in my weary hotel room I realized that it still beats the hell out of digging ditches under the August sun. Yet I had to admit that there had been better digs before and likely would be again – if every hotel room were like this one we would all bring sleeping bags and crash in the park when we travel. Likely my favorite aspect of the room was when I went to climb into the shower this morning and noted the various long red hairs stuck to the curtain…which wasn’t as bad as the curly-whirlies gathered around the drain. Let’s just say I showered in my socks…

A smile was inspired as I boarded the little Continental Regional Jet this morning behind Lorenzen Wright, 6’11” center for the Seattle/Kansas City Supersonics or whatever the hell they are going to be called. He had to nearly touch his toes to get on the plane. Nice kid – covered in about 50k worth of bling. His watch alone had about 5 pounds of diamonds on it. It’s nice to know that a 2.5 points and 4 rebounds per game average over an NBA career can outfit a person so nicely. He very fortunately for their athletic trainers scored an exit row seat.

I get home today about 11 and will finish the day on the phone and doing some computer work. There’s some cleaning left to do before the fam comes in this weekend. We are really excited to have everyone coming in and just wish Father Wally could also be here. We’ll miss you, Papa! I promise to take lots of pictures of the grandkids playing together. We are watching the weather to see if the Indians’ game on Friday night will still happen – it’s looking a little blustery on the radar but it is Northeast Ohio. As they say, if you don’t like the weather wait 5 minutes and it will change.

See you laters, taters…

They say it's your birthday! Happy birthday to you!

John's Pony Ride

In the ultimate contest of over-compensation, children's birthdays have gotten out of control in a way that rivals the best BMW vs. Lexus in the driveway battle of the Joneses. So my son John's third birthday this past weekend eclipsed that of Prince Andrew and is going to be broadcast on MTV's Blingingest Birthday Bashes III. I brought three party trays - cheese, fruit...the usual suspects. His mom pulled out the stops with a moon bounce, trampoline, pony rides, swimming, catered food, and enough beer for a weekend at the Kennedy compound in August.

There were about 50 or so people who stopped in at some point; friends, family and well-wishers. Aly and I hung out with John most of the time, which involved chasing him from one activity to the other. There were some minor tears when Choloe the teacup rat-dog nipped John's finger but no blood was spilled (except when I tossed the dog in the chipper-shredder dontcha know?) We were able to see Jeff and Dianne and their two daughters, both lovely young ladies. Sean and Doreen were there with their two kids, Ryan is getting to be just flat out huge. Aunt and Uncles abounded with Uncles John and Alex, Aunts AJ and Bubba in attendance. Of course, John noticed little of this as he was enthralled with all of the kids bouncing around.

I got the kids a Wii for their birthday as Aly's 15th is coming up next week. She is in the other room doing the Wii Fit Yoga class as we speak. Its a pretty cool game, but when it tells you your BMI its only slightly depressing. I'm sure there will be more pictures to post of Aly's smaller gathering. She has requested a videogame party here so the kids can play Wii and Rockband and have me cook for them. I do good junk food.

We are in the final planning stages for the upcoming trip of my brother and sister-in-law, niece and Mom this weekend. Everyone is coming in on Friday and staying until Monday. We are going to an Indians game on Friday, cooking out on Saturday and spending the day with John on Sunday. There may be some sightseeing along the way - after all, there are SO many wonderful sights here in Northeast Ohio!

Have a great week everyone!

OMG I'M IN NJ!!! - Room with a view I wish I didn't have...

Yes, I am in Ramsey, NJ. Where is this? well its right here Ramsey, NJWhat do you think? Looks real nice. I am here with my co-workers at a Sheraton near our corporate offices for this week-long training session. Luckily, I have awesome co-workers and fun bosses that are making it as interesting as possible. Here you see a picture of our meeting room, which has no view as the curtains are drawn so we can see the projector screen. That's ok because, being in a U-shaped table format, we get to stare at each other all week!

This would be the view from my lovely Worst Western hotel room. Its a second-floor room right above the unique little college-type bar that is actually IN the hotel. Tonight is "2 Dollar Bring Your Own Mug Night" where you could bring a trash can in and fill it with Busch for two bills. So nice! I'm sure I'll sleep well tonight to the drunken thumping below. I'll make sure to add a photo of the exterior of the hotel so you can appreciate the cheesy goodness. Ok, lunch break is over. Time for more learnin'! Blog you later.

Room with a View - Chicago Deja Vu

So here I am in Chicago again, this time for a Trauma Conference that lasts through Saturday night. Its such a beautiful neighborhood as you can tell. Actually its right on Sourth Michigan Ave. and across from Grant Park. Its a bit of a dump, and I should have known that when their marquee said "Welcome Lallapallooza!". I can imagine the previous occupants of the room were here for a more fun purpose, as evidenced from the left over X tabs in the bathroom. I did score a corner room, so I have multiple views from which to choose. The first is of some nice buildings south of the lake. I have no idea what they are, but its urban living at its best. If you look closely you can see the subway line that barrels through about every five minutes or so - that should make for some good sleepin!

My northward view is of Lake Michigan, albeit obliquely. Its kind of cool knowing that I can go out there and walk on the shore, which I shall do at some point. We are supposed to have stunning weather here this week - like 82 and sunny every day. Such a shame that I will be looking at pasty-faced trauma surgeons the entire time and listening to the glories of new skin adhesives in treating slashing knife wounds. I'm kind of unhappy about being here if you couldn't tell. I mean, I could understand one to two days of trade show madness, but there are only going to be like 150 doctors here. Do you not think they are going to make their way through the hall the first day and it will be as vacant as Rosie O'Donnel's cupboards the rest of the time? I can already hear the crickets as 50 medical reps snooze off their hangovers while muzak quietly hums overhead. "I love you baby, and if its quite alright I need you baby, to warm my lonely nights..." Lord have mercy on whatever soul I might have left.

Looking just, well, down we see industrious city workers struggling through yet another day of urban toil. Hail, ye mighty warriors of labor in your continuing upward battle against the oppressor! You can tell the day's supply of doughnuts and coffee are running dangerously low, as the time tips towards Miller and pretzels. No comment.

Likely the best room with a view was the one my feline friend Luna had this morning of a snacking chipmonk outside our slider on the porch. He chilled out in this spot for about 10 minutes and drove her into cat-sanity and distraction. I had to put vodka in her water dish to calm her down. Ummmmm...vodka.

Have a great day everyone!

My Kind of Town...Room with a View (sort of...)

Ok I was in Chicago for four of the longest days of my life last week to attend the American Academy of Dermatology show. It was a mix of good and bad, the 'longest days' moniker being assigned because the trade show primarily sucked ass and seemed to last an eternity working the floor. We were in the deepest bowels of the Hyatt Hotel near the lakeshore and I kept expecting to see guys with lamps on their hats walk by it was so dark and dank. It was absolutely gorgeous outside the entire time, which didn't help. Also making it worse was the presence of Lollapallooza which I couldn't attend. I did manage to find a great little jazz club which had a combo playing Davis and Coltraine, that was a good time. Otherwise, I lounged in my room and slept a lot. I didn't get to take a picture out the window, which was just not exciting at all as I looked out into an alley and a dumpster, so I just included this picture of the hotel. I'm back in Chicago again this week for a trade show that the hours of the exhibit hall run 6:30 AM - 5:30 PM - WTF is that all about? I'll take a picture from my room at the freaking Best Western. Adios.